*This is NOT a sponsored post*
Hey guysssssss. I’m not going to lie the past week has kicked my butt in more ways than one. I feel like I’m running around like a chicken with my head cut off. What a sight! School starts tomorrow and after having all summer off to galavant around the world, it was extremely tough getting back into the swing of things this week. I forgot how stressful the beginning of the school year is.
I used to never think of myself as a stressed person. For those of you that know me in real life, you know that I am particularly chill. Like to the point people think I am high on drugs because I seem so relaxed and laid back. I take pride in being chill and being thought of as chill. But as with most aspects of my life, although I look chill on the outside, more times than not I am screaming with anxiety/nerves on the inside. I am very good at giving the outward appearance of (insert any positive state of being here), but most of the time on the inside I feel almost the opposite. I’m not really sure why this happens, it is something I have been pondering for most of my life.
I’m working on being more honest with myself because most of the time, I even trick myself into thinking I’m ok with things or that everything is fine. Even though deep down inside it feels like the sky is falling. Bottom line: I’ve been stressed as hell this week and yesterday I felt at the peak of my stress. I was scrambling around trying to get all my materials ready for Monday and I fell apart a little bit. And I didn’t do what I always tell others to do, stop and take a deep breath. Therapeutic breathing is bae.
So when I woke up this morning, I decided that today was going to be about me. I haven’t always loved myself and most of the time I feel completely at odds with myself in many different ways. If I had to give my relationship with myself a relationship status on Facebook, it would be “It’s Complicated.” My self love journey is exactly that, a journey. A mountain that I am still attempting to traverse after years of falling off the side of it. I am finally to the point in my life where I am realizing how important self love is. No one can give you the love that you must give yourself. In my last romantic relationship I had to learn that the hard way. You have to love yourself, no one can fill your role.
I spent the hours of 9:30 am – 2:00 pm in my bed watching BuzzFeed taste test videos and Billy on the Street from Hulu. For those of you that know me in real life, you know that I am very much a homebody, but it isn’t like me to not get out of bed for hours like that. But it is precisely what I needed. I cooked myself a skillet of cajun eggs (literally scrambled eggs with cajun seasoning on them, they are the best thing to ever happen to me) and made a cup of tea. I love tea, but I don’t drink it often. I want it to remain special. I recently bought some loose leaf coconut chai tea from World Market and it was delicious. It smelled like Christmas in July. On an island. Heaven in a cup my friends.
I used my sleepy sloth tea infuser and went to town on that cup. After that I got up and got in the shower. I took a long, glorious, steamy shower. I don’t have long hair so my showers are usually less than 5 minutes, so it was nice to just spend some time cleaning up. One thing that I do when I want to relax is use St. Ives Oatmeal Scrub on my face to exfoliate. It’s again something I don’t do every day, just when I really feel like my pores need it. Once I got out of the shower I put on some of my favorite lotion, Dr. Bronner’s Coconut and Lavender Lotion. It smells SO good and makes my skin SO soft. I’m not a big fan of lotion because it just makes me feel sticky, but I like how it feels on my skin once it sinks in.
After my shower I decided to eat some leftover sushi for lunch and put a record on. I am obsessed with vinyl and I’m constantly adding to my collection. I put on the album “Alix” by The Generationals, it is super upbeat and happy. The record itself is pretty too 🙂
I also decided to light my favorite candle of all time, the Vineyard Hill Naturals Green Tea and Bamboo from Target. It smells so clean and fresh, it just puts me at ease. I also really like the scent of the Stress Relief one from Bath and Body Works, but I need to go buy a new one.
One thing I like to do when I am really stressed is write in my journal. I have been journaling practically since I could write, and it is something that has been very therapeutic for me throughout the years. Sometimes getting my thoughts down on paper just takes a huge weight off my shoulders and clears my head. I use large, black Moleskine brand journals and I always write in blue pen. I don’t know why, I just do. It feels like home to me.
The rest of the night I will get my things together for the week, finish up laundry, clean up around the apartment a little bit, and just take some time to reflect on this summer as it comes to an end. Among all of the things on my to do list today, I felt that none was more important than relaxing. I have a million things to do, but sometimes it is far more important to take care of yourself before you take care of everything else. I am already glad that I chose to do some things just for me today.
Sunday is coming to an end and we all have things to tend to this week, but don’t forget to tend to yourself. Do something just for you tonight before the craziness of the week starts to creep in and steal your Sunday from you. You deserve it!