Hi Hi Hi Hiiiiiiiiiiii.

A lot is going on in America right now people. Creepy clowns are showing up all over the damn place and the presidential race is getting hot and heavy. Who would have ever thought those two things would be in the same sentence? Or a sentence where someone wasn’t calling a presidential candidate a clown, HEYOOOOOOO (here’s looking at you Trump!).

I’ve had it with this clown business though. If you haven’t heard, people are dressing up in full clown garb and creeping people out all over the U.S. and this clown frenzy has even spread to parts of Europe. I have been deeply affected by this clown cacophony because I teach high school students and they are all now obsessed with this clown crap. Every day it seems like I start seeing them wear more clown-like apparel. Just the other day, a well mannered, female student of mine showed up with a hoard of creepy clowns on the back of her T-Shirt. She usually wears cute dresses and sweaters, WHAT IS HAPPENING PEOPLE? Clowns are taking over the world as we know it, that’s what!

Apparently most of the clown sightings are propelled by the internet and more specifically teenagers on twitter. A few creepy clowns were spotted around Houston and there were some threats made via social media to my school district. Our principal sent out an email just last week to keep an eye out for clowns and not to let the children open any doors to the outside of the building.

I’m telling you, if I see one of this idiots in a clown suit outside the school or outside my apartment, I will go full tilt on them. I will show no mercy. If a clown comes for me, I will go full UFC fighter on it. Someone has to put these clowns to rest. The media is saying that all of this clown business is just a result of bored teenagers. Back in my day when teens were bored, they were having sex and smoking weed. In my case, I was playing SIMS and watching reruns of Full House (I was a straight edge, okay?!). But I can confidently say, no one was dressing up like a clown and walking around neighborhoods to lurk in the shadows. You know what they say, when teen pregnancy rates go down, clown sightings go up!

All I have to say is, I hope this ends soon so I can sleep soundly knowing there aren’t clowns lurking around in the parking garage of my apartment complex. Until then, I will just have to sprint to my car wielding my closed umbrella ready to beat the crap out of anything that resembles a clown.

On to the other clown plaguing America, Donald Trump! For those of you that know me well, you know I am generally very left wing when it comes to politics. I don’t really like labels or affiliating myself with one party or another because I’m not a fan of the two party system. I feel it is an outdated concept and that it should change with the growing needs of the American people. I like politics, but I don’t necessarily like to talk politics. Mostly because people can’t do it in a civil way. Someone always ends up yelling or getting heated in my experience. Can’t we all just disagree AND get along?

I am not going to inject my personal political opinion into this post because that is no one’s business but my own and it is not an invitation for debate. I think Trump is a sad excuse for a man and an American, and nothing that comes out in the media about him surprises me. It did not shock or surprise me one bit that he has sexually assaulted women and then called it, “locker room talk.” I am a feminist, a woman of color, a first generation American on my dad’s side,  and a lesbian. A minority in almost all regards. I can not and will not vote for someone who disparages who I am and people like me.

I’ve heard many people talk about how they are not voting in this election because they like neither candidate. But understand, it isn’t about whether you like the person or not. It is about who and what is best for our country and the people who reside here. Vote for whoever you damn well please, but please vote. If you don’t vote because you don’t like either candidate, that might as well be a vote for the person you like less. Don’t waste your vote because you can’t decide. An informed decision is necessary, think about the future of our country and the futures of the people you love.

Election day is November 8th. Go vote. Keep clowns off the streets and out of The White House.

*Slowly, wobbles off soapbox*


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