Mother. 

Happy Mother’s Day to all my readers out there! This has been an emotional weekend. I traveled home to watch my baby sister graduate from high school. It was the first time I’d seen my family since Christmas. And all of our lives are transforming and growing in different ways.

That’s something about family that you realize when you get older, you are all constantly growing in different directions. And sometimes it is hard to keep the family all together. It’s hard to harness everyone when we’re going fast and slow and up and down. All different directions. But somehow it works. And somehow when we all get back together, it seems like we’re all on the same trajectory for a brief moment in time. It’s beautiful.

My mother and I haven’t always seen eye to eye. She is the person who has had the most difficult time understanding my sexuality and being okay with it. Understanding that it didn’t change anything about me. But she also raised me and had her own vision for what she wanted me to get out of life. I understand that when that vision is no longer a possibility, it turns everything upside down. When you know your child is going to struggle and suffer at the hands of complete strangers, that is a hard pill to swallow.

I want to commend my mother for always letting me be who I am though, even if she didn’t agree with it. When I was 5 years old, I begged my mom to let me be Batman for Halloween. I didn’t want to be a Disney Princess or even the pink Power Ranger (she was my girl though!). I saw the Batman costume hanging in the store and that’s all I wanted to be. Batman was strong and fearless and helped people. And even at 5 years old, I knew I wanted to be like that.

She gave me options. She asked if I wanted to be anything else and finally agreed to let me be Batman. I remember running around the living room in full costume days after Halloween was over. Jumping off the side of the couch and saving my stuffed animals from our cat. She supported my need to be me. For that, I will always be grateful.

I know some of us have been to hell and back with our mothers. Some of us don’t speak to our mothers. Some of us don’t live near our mothers. Some of us feel as if our mothers are strangers to us. Some of us have lost our mothers, in more ways than one. If this day is a difficult one for you, take some time to process that pain. Celebrate other strong women. Celebrate role models. Celebrate who you are because chances are a mother has influenced who you are. Whether it be your own or someone else’s. Gratitude my loves. Send it out into the universe.

Happy Mother’s Day.

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