I know right now is scary. You’re about to move across the country to follow the biggest dream you’ve ever had. You aren’t scared on the outside because you’re choosing to be strong. But on the inside you are shaking like a leaf. You don’t know what awaits you. The unknown. What you used to run from as a child.
As you’ve grown, you’ve come to be good friends with the unknown. It has kept you warm and safe and made you feel more alive than you’ve ever dared to feel. You’ve cuddled up to it in the night. But now it seems scary again. Like someone you once knew, but don’t anymore. The unknown is looming over you. It is there whether you want it to be or not.
You are afraid to leave it all behind. You won’t see your family or friends or people who speak to your soul for a long time probably. And you’re scared because without them you somehow feel less. You wish you could tie them into a bundle and take them with you. But you can’t. You can’t take them with you.
You are kind of afraid that you’ll fail, but not really. Failure doesn’t mean much to you. In the last few years you have realized that you can define what failure is. And failure isn’t not getting what you want or not accomplishing your goals. Failure is giving up. And you know deep in your heart that you haven’t come this far to quit.
You are afraid that you’ll hate your new life. That every day you’ll wake up hoping to be somewhere else. Hoping to be surrounded by familiarity. But instead you wake up and still feel like a stranger in a strange land. But you’ve done this before. You’ve cried in all of your new homes at the beginning. Mourning what lies behind you. Tears for all you love that you’ve left behind.
But you realize this isn’t final. You don’t have to love it. You don’t have to be good at it. You don’t have to miss what you used to have because you can still have it. You will see your friends again. You will get to run into their arms and see their pixelated faces on FaceTime and you will get to miss them so much it hurts.
But everything will be okay. You will be okay. You are strong. You are brave. You are tenacious. You will struggle, but you need to. Take your own advice. Lean into the discomfort, there will be a lot. Realize that love can travel over mountains and through rivers and on miles and miles of road. You can do this. And you will.
A year from now I hope you look back and say, I did the damn thing.